


The Best Way to Get Over Someone...

by queenread



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eleanor has a crush on Chidi, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Guess how she gets over it, I promise this isn't a Eleanor/Chidi fic, hint hint a tall posh lady, named Tahani Al-Jamil, takes place while they're on earth doing the study
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-09-05 21:30:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16818820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenread/pseuds/queenread
Summary: Is to get under someone else.





	1. Chapter 1

Eleanor Shellstrop was not one to develop “feelings”. Sure, she’d let someone hang around if they were minimally annoying and half decent in bed, but she didn’t actually care about them. She liked the convenience.

But for awhile, she’d been in love with one of her best friends: Chidi Anagonye. And yes, that was a bold statement. It’s probably more accurate to say she was obsessed with him. She thought about his stupid face all the time. She thought about how jacked his was. She thought about the long, boring talks they had about ethics. She pictured them together and how well they’d work as a couple. It was nauseating. She nauseated herself, and she definitely nauseated the random strangers she forced to listen to her talk about him. Even her friends who didn’t have a clue about her feelings had to listen to her talk about this thing Chidi said or Chidi’s opinion on that. It’s like she stopped being her own person and just became Chidi’s number one fan. He was just a dumb nerd. And he had a girlfriend.

So that was a thing, and she dealt with it in her normal, unhealthy way. She was mean to him any chance she got. She slept with multiple people to get him out of her brain. She pictured killing both him and his perfect girlfriend in some sort of fire that could look like an accident. She even skipped class for a week to get some distance. She locked herself in her hotel room, drank everything in the mini fridge, and drilled into her head all the ways they would be bad together. 

There were plenty of ways. He’s a boring nerd and she’s a fun hotty. She didn’t even like being in relationships, especially ones with real feelings. She’s independent and selfish and doesn’t think about other people enough for it to work. Not to mention he was currently in a goddamn relationship with a nice girl. All of this should’ve work in theory. There was no logical reason for Eleanor to be this hung up on him. But she was. And as much as she tried to push it away, the obsession was still there. Some people would call that love, but Eleanor called it idiotic.

All that was left to do was to was drink like it was the end of the world. So she went out with her friends (which she had now) including Chidi and his lovely girlfriend. Flash forward three hours and Eleanor was piss drunk in a corner booth with Tahani of all people. Tahani was moaning about something and Eleanor was pretending to listen while thinking about Chidi’s surprisingly strong arms.

“We’re from different worlds, him and I,” said Tahani. “Really it makes no sense...but he’s so pretty I can’t stop thinking about him…” she trailed off. 

“What?” Said Eleanor, suddenly listening. “Who’s pretty?”

“Jason,” said Tahani.

“You like Jason???” she asked, her jaw dropping. 

“Yes,” groaned Tahani. “I know it’s silly.”

“Yeah it is! I mean don’t get me wrong, he’s a total babe and I get it. But have you seen you?? You’re the most beautiful woman in the world!” 

“Eleanor!” 

“It’s true! You’re like a tan...statue of liberty. You can do so much better than Jason.”

“Thank you Eleanor, really. But it’s clearly not a logical thing. He once asked me if I went to Hogwarts. He’s just so sweet, and he’s always there. I can’t seem to get over him.”

Eleanor sighed. “I know what you mean,” she said. 

“You do??” asked Tahani.

“Yeah...I may have some dumb feelings for Chidi.”

“Ahhh” said Tahani. “That’s a tough one.”

“Girlfriend,” said Eleanor.

“Girlfriend,” agreed Tahani.

“It’s so stupid. And so hopeless. And I thought I’d be over it by now. But like you said he’s just always around and I can’t shake this stupid feeling.”

“It is stupid,” said Tahani, nodding to herself. “I mean you’re quite beautiful, Eleanor. You’re like a blonde...kitty cat.”

“Thanks.”

“I mean it! Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

“You’re not wrong there.”

“Beautiful…”

“Ok, that’s enough for the statue.”

“You are beautiful...and I can drink as much as I please.”

“What are you drinking?” asked a tall, rather good looking man. “I’ll get you another.”

“Thank you, kind sir,” said Tahani. “But I am drinking with my lovely kitty cat here.” She stroked Eleanor’s hair.

“Hi, I’m Eleanor, the kitty cat,” she said, offering her hand. “Nice to meet you.” She caught Tahani’s eye and they both snickered. Eleanor had never noticed how big Tahani’s eyes were. You could get lost in them. You could take up a residence in those eyes. How long was she staring at her? Eleanor finally looked away. 

The tall guy was gone. Tahani was still giggling to herself. 

“Bartender?” said Eleanor suddenly. A waiter walked over.

“Yeah, what can I get you?” he asked.

“I’ve changed my mind,” she said. “Two shots of tequila please!”

“Yes!” shouted Tahani. 

“And two for the lovely lady!” 

“Oh my word.”

Shots in hand, Eleanor raised a toast. “To being hot! And forgetting about dumb boys!”

“Here here!”

The next morning, Eleanor woke up to a blinding headache. She groaned and covered her eyes to block out the sun. Turning away from the window, she saw none other than Tahani Al-Jamil next to her in bed. She was wide awake and completely naked. 

“Good morning, Eleanor.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Good...morning, Tahani”, said Eleanor. 

Tahani was elegantly propped up by a small mountain of pillows. Her hair fell like a curtain over her bare chest. Her skin somehow looked even brighter than normal. Eleanor tried not to stare.  _ Where did she get all those pillows?  _ She wondered.

“How are you feeling this morning?” asked Tahani. “You had rather a lot to drink.”

Eleanor pawed at her eyes to get the morning crust out. “So did you,” she said. 

“Yes, I know,” said Tahani. “I haven’t had that much to drink since Mandy Moore’s thirtieth birthday party. I’m practically a troll person I’m so hideously hungover.”

“Right...so about last night,” Eleanor started.

“Yes, thank you for cheering me up, Eleanor. Nothing like a good shag to make you feel better.” 

“So you and me…doinked?”

“If by doink you mean had sex then yes, we did”

“Oh god…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh….this is bad,” said Eleanor. “Bad, bad, bad. Not that it was bad! But it happening…not good.”

“Calm down, will you? It’s just sex.”

Eleanor got out of bed and went to the closet for something to wear. She found a tank top and some sweatpants and pulled them on. “Tahani,” she muttered to herself. “I slept with Tahani. Oh my god.”

“Eleanor, you’re approaching hysterics,” said Tahani.

“Oh I’m not approaching. I’m fully there,” said Eleanor. “Everything was going great. We were all getting along so well. Of course I fucked it up.”

“Dear, you did nothing wrong.”

“Well yeah, I’m sure I was amazing. And your welcome. But still, I fucked it up.”

Tahani rolled her eyes. “We will all still be friends. You did not mess up.”

“You’re saying that last night won’t affect our friendship all?”

“Absolutely,” said Tahani. “Eleanor, I’m a very artistic person...sex is just a particularly sweaty work of art.”

“Oh my god, Tahani. Sex is not art. Sex is dirty and primal. It’s fucking fun is what it is, but it’s too weird to have with friends. It never works out.”

“That’s a tad extreme,” said Tahani. “There’s no reason sex should ruin our friendship.”

“Trust me, it always does,” said Eleanor. “It’s just better not to mix the two. I’ll always regret sleeping with the Dominos delivery guy. Things were never the same between us.”

“Surely we have a more solid foundation than you and your pizza delivery man.”

“Greg and I went way back. He was my go-to delivery guy. After I burned that bridge I could never order Dominos again.”

“How tragic.”

“My point is that last night was fun as far as I can remember, but it’s never happening again.”

“If that’s what you think is best,” said Tahani. “But I must say it does not matter as much as you say it does. We slept together, and perhaps we’ll sleep together again. Who knows.”

Eleanor’s eyes widened. “There’s no way I’m getting that drunk again any time soon,” she said.

“There’s no need to be rude, Eleanor. I was simply saying it doesn’t matter one way or another.”

“Maybe to you it doesn’t. I, on the other hand, value our friendship, and I don’t want to fuck it up. 

“I see no change in our relationship. We shall continue to be bosom friends.”

Eleanor’s eyes fell to Tahani’s still visible breasts. “You said bosom on purpose.”

“Now you’re just being ridiculous,” said Tahani.

“I am not!” said Eleanor. “I should go!”

“This is your room.”

“Or you should go,” said Eleanor. “And we’ll just never talk about this weird shiz again, ok?”

“Whatever you like, darling,” said Tahani, finally getting up from the bed, her perfect body now on complete display. She glided over to her dress, which was somehow unwrinkled though it spent the night on the floor. She dressed, gathered her things, and headed for the door.

“Ta ta,” she said.

“Bye!” said Eleanor. Tahani left and Eleanor immediately smacked herself in the face. “Stupid, stupid Eleanor,” she said. “Stupid, stupid, drunk, idiotic Eleanor.”

  
  


Eleanor thought about skipping Chidi’s class but she didn’t want to call attention to herself. So she sucked it up and dragged her hungover ass to the university. Everyone was already there by the time she arrived, including Tahani. Not that she cared. Eleanor kept her eyes down.

“Whattup nerds?” she said by way of greeting.

“Welcome, Eleanor,” said Chidi. “Ok I guess we’ll get started with today’s lesson. Today we will be answering one simple question: are we to blame?”

Eleanor’s stomach dropped. 

“What makes us guilty?” Chidi continued. “If I commit murder myself, I am the only one to blame. But if someone orders me to commit murder, who is more guilty? What if I am forced or afraid for my own life? Am I guilty then?”

“I always say guilty,” said Jason. “They usually let you off with community service and in Jacksonville that’s just painting over penises for a few days.”

“Blame is really a question of agency,” said Chidi, ignoring Jason. “Were you able to say no? Were you truly in control? Your agency can be affected by a million different factors. Your circumstances, age, health, or state of mind. By drugs or alcohol."

Eleanor kept her face neutral. She was determined not to look at Tahani. 

“How in control of a situation do you have to be to deserve blame?” asked Chidi.

Eleanor paid rapt attention to the entire lesson, never letting her eyes wander from the black board. She was so absorbed she didn’t notice the time ticking by, and before she knew it class was over. She finally looked around the room. Tahani and Jason were chatting as they walked together toward the door. Eleanor stared for a second. Then, she picked up her things and ran after them before she could change her mind.

Eleanor caught up with Tahani in the hallway.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?” she asked.

“Yes, of course,” said Tahani. “Jason could you give us a moment?”

Jason nodded and left them alone.

“I wanted to apologize for freaking out at you this morning,” said Eleanor.

“Oh...not at all.”

“I was just feeling guilty for what happened. I have a tendency to ruin things. But Chidi’s lesson today made me realize it wasn’t my fault. It was alcohol’s.”

“I’m not sure that was the intended message,” said Tahani.

“Either way it made me feel better. We got drunk. Things happen.”

“Exactly. And you should not feel guilty for it. You were just being a good friend.”

“Really? How was that being a good friend?”

“You made me feel better,” said Tahani, smiling.

“Right.”

“Next time we go out, I owe you a drink.”

“Thanks…” said Eleanor. She returned the smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, friend.”

“That you will,” said Tahani. And they parted ways until the next day’s class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your nice comments, ladies! I'll try to get the next chapter out a little faster :)


End file.
